Tuesday, April 24

Six months

Six months have passed since my Mum left this world for another. I thought about lighting a candle but that is not my style. Instead I listen to a selection of music that reminds me of her: Groove Armada, Moby, Katie Melhua, Orbital.

As I clean the apartment I listen to each song and remember certain things about Mum. Orbital reminds me of the Glastonbury concerts, the English version of Woodstock, where Mum created an incredible music video of the band on stage. She mixed shots together, using the beat of the music and the flickering of the stage lights. I was dancing in the crowd with a group of off duty cameramen and riggers, sipping from shared bottles of beer and passing around joints. We could see the images that Mum was creating on the big screen at the side of the stage.
“Look Nik!,” shouted a cameraman, poining at the screen through the waving arms and beams of cooured light. “Look, your Mum’s a genius!”
“Go Roz!” shouted someone else as we all danced to the pounding music and the images that she mixed together.

I listen to Katie Melhua and remember Mum phoning me from Germany. She was working on a Katie Melhua concert and told me happily how lovely the music was and how Katie was such a kind, down to earth person. I remember deciding with my brothers that we would play one of her songs at the funeral, and I remember how touched I felt when condolences arrived from Katie and her producer.

I don’t cry. I listen to the music and remember the happy things that we did together. I imagine how happy she would have been the other day to see Skyes first real recognizable drawing. In my head I could hear her voice saying “ooh, Skye! That’s beautiful darling! Aren’t you a clever girl!”
I change the music and put on something new, something that I think Mum would have liked...

I look around the apartment and everything seems to be in order.
Annika and her family are probably on the train speeding towards Naples now. This afternoon they will arrive in town and I’ll take them for a walk on the beach. We’ll stand on the pier that she has watched so often on the webcam, finally she will be in the picture, not watching it from afar.

Tomorrow we’ll catch a ferry along the coast to Amalfi and see what she thinks of the town that she has dreamed of visiting for so long. I feel like I'm about to go on a blind date!


  1. http://www.campaniameteo.it/webcampositanostreaming.asp

  2. You are very brave writing about such a sensitive subject - your mum sounded like a really great woman that was hugely admired by the many people's lives she touched - and this is brought across from what you have written about her. And it's very brave of you not to collapse in a heap but to think of the good memories especially with the help of some good music!

    Have a fun time with Annika and good luck with your new future which doesn't include working in the clothes shop!


  3. I've told you before how very sad I am about your mom. She sounds like a wonderful, amazingly cool lady. It's just not fair.


  4. Sounds like the best way to memorialize your mom...remembering the good memories. Surely she's looking down over you and reliving those memories with you.

    Hope your "blind date" with Annika goes well and that you all have fun!


  5. Now I have to watch the Positano webcam and look for you guys!

  6. So much better than my own grizzling when I think of my dead parents...
    BTW I love your pictures!

  7. Such a beautiful tribute to your Mum. Keep enjoying Poppy as before you know it she will grow up. My little artist turned the big 30 yeaserday.

  8. Think I told you before but it's inredible how often I find myself thinking about your mum.
    And I never me ther.
    She must have been Special indeed.

  9. I always thought that we are are part of the people we love...
    you are part of your mum who is still alive in you....

  10. I hope you and Annika have a great time!! I'm sure your Mum is watching over you from somewhere.

  11. Have a great time with your visitors! I'm sure they will LOVE it!!! and you won't have to pump them full of various liquors so they dont smell the garbage and the homless ppl (as i'd have to do with my visitors to NY)

  12. Your mum sounds like a fantastic wonderful woman.

    Your memories will be there forever and ever.

  13. You may not have cried, but I had a tear from your post, Nikki! I am glad to read in the later posts that you are having fun with Annika.

  14. this was so beautiful - i just love her and
    have never even met her -



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