Six months have passed since my Mum left this world for another. I thought about lighting a candle but that is not my style. Instead I listen to a selection of music that reminds me of her: Groove Armada, Moby, Katie Melhua, Orbital.
As I clean the apartment I listen to each song and remember certain things about Mum. Orbital reminds me of the Glastonbury concerts, the English version of Woodstock, where Mum created an incredible music video of the band on stage. She mixed shots together, using the beat of the music and the flickering of the stage lights. I was dancing in the crowd with a group of off duty cameramen and riggers, sipping from shared bottles of beer and passing around joints. We could see the images that Mum was creating on the big screen at the side of the stage.
“Look Nik!,” shouted a cameraman, poining at the screen through the waving arms and beams of cooured light. “Look, your Mum’s a genius!”
“Go Roz!” shouted someone else as we all danced to the pounding music and the images that she mixed together.
I listen to Katie Melhua and remember Mum phoning me from Germany. She was working on a Katie Melhua concert and told me happily how lovely the music was and how Katie was such a kind, down to earth person. I remember deciding with my brothers that we would play one of her songs at the funeral, and I remember how touched I felt when condolences arrived from Katie and her producer.
I don’t cry. I listen to the music and remember the happy things that we did together. I imagine how happy she would have been the other day to see Skyes first real recognizable drawing. In my head I could hear her voice saying “ooh, Skye! That’s beautiful darling! Aren’t you a clever girl!”
I change the music and put on something new, something that I think Mum would have liked...
I look around the apartment and everything seems to be in order.
Annika and her family are probably on the train speeding towards Naples now. This afternoon they will arrive in town and I’ll take them for a walk on the beach. We’ll stand on the pier that she has watched so often on the webcam, finally she will be in the picture, not watching it from afar.
Tomorrow we’ll catch a ferry along the coast to Amalfi and see what she thinks of the town that she has dreamed of visiting for so long. I feel like I'm about to go on a blind date!