Just about to start work for the season and I am told that I am missing a Very Important Document from the Office of Employment, which I must have before I can start. So bright and early in the morning I set off for the Office of Employment which, once located conveniently next to the post office at the top of the village, has now been moved to an office four towns away down the wiggly coast road. I settle into the car for a long(ish) lonely drive but just out of town pick up an expat friend on his way to Amalfi.How much more fun a journey is when there is somebody to talk to! And the conversations we had! It didn't matter that the road was closed for half an hour while abseilers wrapped the mountain in chicken wire to stop landslides. It didn't matter that we kept getting held up by the numerous tourist coaches that bumble along with all the time in the world.
I was fascinated to discover this friend was interested in regression therapy. He told me about his past lives from the 12th century onwards, places he had been, things he had seen and the transgression from one life to another. He offered to regress me (is that how you say it?) but I fear that I would be useless, far too skeptical. I would probably lie there chanting in my head, 'this won't work, this won't work,' but maybe I'll give it a try one day.
I drop my friend off in Amalfi and proceed along the coast until I reach my destination. In the Office of Employment I am ignored by the two men for 5 minutes until one of them tells the other that there is a bella signorina waiting. They signal for me to come around the counter into the office and them ignore me again for another 10 minutes while they hop between different computers and desks, proving to me how very busy they are. Finally I leave with the required document, a typically Italian statement and a contender in the longest-possible-sentence competition:
It is testified that the worker (worker? how common!) Nicki(555 5important Italian number that you cant do anything without) born in Great Britain and Ireland (I kid you not, it says that, though how they imagine I could have been born in two places at once beats me)resident in Positano has presented on the 23 April 2009 the declaration of availability for the carrying out of a working activity and sucessive modifications and integrations as well as request for the entrance into a state of unemployment at the office of this clerk.
Well, yes, a very important document, obviously. Certainly nothing that could have been done via email or fax and saved me the 2 hour drive.
But, then again, the stories about past regression were actually worth it all!