Wednesday, October 23

10 best questions asked about Positano

I spent three months this summer helping out at one of the boat companies on the beach. Organizing boat trips to Capri, renting out boats, disembarking clients we get to talk to a lot of people. And we get asked a lot of questions. So here's a round up of this summers best questions:
(Note: I may or may not have used some of the answers below.)
1. "How do I get off this island?"
Do your research, you are currently on mainland Italy, part of the continent of Europe.

2. "I need to book a boat from Ravello, can you do that?"
Ravello is a hilltown situated high up in the mountains above Amalfi. There is no boat access up a mountain. (He still insisted that he wanted a boat from there).

3. "What ocean is this anyway?"
If I tell you it is the Pacific would you believe me and go away?

4. (As a police helicopter flew past) " Ooh, how much does a ride in one of them cost?"
Try robbing a bank and they might pick you up in one of those.

5. "Do you par-lay ing-ley-sey?" (I get asked this about a million times a day.)
I think I can manage that. (Then I often get praised about how good my English is, I tell them I've been practicing for a long time.)

6. "I'm staying at the Sirenuse, I wanna be picked up by boat"
If you know Positano you will know that this is fairly impossible as the hotel is way above the beach...And they still insist...
7. "What time is the next boat to New York?"
Um, not sure but it might be a while...

8. "Is the water from the drinking fountain drinkable?"
No, we put it there to kill off unsuspecting tourists.

9. "I need to get a leg wax."
Certainly, Ma'am, let me sell you a day trip to Capri where there are many fine beauty salons.
10. "But I don't need to get a boat to Capri, I have a hire car, can I go with that, then do the tour?"
A boat tour of the Island of Capri by car...hmm good luck with that...


  1. It's funny the things tourists say. I'm often told my English is superb and when I tell them I'm from Canada they slink away in embarrassment.

    1. Hey, that's OK, I tell them I've been practising English for years and I've had them reply "well done you keep up the good work...they totally dont get that I'm English!!

  2. The questions are always cute in the beginning, then you start wondering how they've survived 'life' this long!

    1. I know, sometimes it's really hard to keep on smiling!

  3. you can't fix stupid, but taken out of our normal environment we will all think or say something stupid in a part of the world that is not out own. Drop someone into the middle east or many parts of Asia and most of us will say or do something stupid, offensive, or insulting. By accident of course, but we gain a new perspective when we do.

    P.S. cute toes! :-)

    1. You're right of course, I wrote this post in a fun way, not trying to be mean, just highlighting the funny bits!

  4. Love your daily photo posting, but we really love your "figs and lemons". We were there a year ago. Fell in love with it and you are keeping it alive for us. Consider putting you photos and this blog (with your comments) in a book. It would be most interesting.

    1. Thanks Gary! I keep being told to do a book....maybe one day when I have some time!

  5. The strange questions are definetly part of the fun of living in a tourist resort! Some great ones in this selection.

  6. So glad that I finally got to check in on you blog. This post is fabulous! I can just picture some of those answers slipping out of your mouth or that of any person in your position of dealing with tourists....

  7. I do not even want to ask what country the askers of these questions are from.


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